Not Tonight Mr Right: Why Good Men Come to Girls Who Wait

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I have personally never had much experience with the hunter type of guy. Of course I want an attractive man to be attracted to me.


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Why give those hunter guys a chance to be hunters? Why not make them communicate with you on your terms?

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What makes those men hunters any way? Maybe the way they have been treated by women — maybe they are used to women objectifying them, so they are just going with it? If you make the hunter pursue you on your terms, you can get what you want — you just have to know what you want and be honest about it.

There are some guys who are hunters because no one has ever told them to cut the crap. Another very important way to look at this is that we all will have reflected back to us what WE are putting out there. Perhaps taking a look at ourselves and see why we could be attracting situations that feel negative and find unfulfilling. I totally agree with the above.

I think women perceive lack of action as a lack of interest — I know I do. What are you worth? Thanks for your well-thought-out response, Jayne. You bring up some interesting points: Do hunters ultimately want a quality relationship with a woman? If a woman demands respect from a hunter, will he show her respect? Further, is he even capable given his current level of maturity of showing respect to a woman?

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Not tonight, Mr Right : why good men come to girls who wait

In other words, can a leopard change his spots? I know many people who need more self-confidence and self-worth in their lives, but my encouragement falls on deaf ears. How will they ever get to the point of having more confidence and courage? A natural extension of your recommendation is that everyone view life itself as a spiritual quest. That approach has indeed been the salvation of many, but like all ideals, few choose that path and even fewer walk far enough down it to achieve lasting results. I am getting lonely and fed up. I am supposed to feel attractive but how attractive does anyone feel who never gets approached by men?

It really makes you feel rubbish inside if you let it. I get a hard time from other women probably partly due to my looks. But I am single while averagely pretty friends of mine get all the attention. One of my own brothers is very jealous of my looks and is nasty to me about it. I promise you that I am a very caring and compassionate person and good company from what I can tell. And I get a lot of crap from a lot of people.

I just want to meet a man and pardon me for wanting a good looking man. But the good looking men are often players who want to use me. I want to be seduced, but as you say, the ones who can seduce are greedy. I want someone who loves me. Someone I can start a family with.

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Someone kind. I have ended up in controlling relationships in the past and now I am wondering if my looks make men more likely to want to keep me on a short leach and if I accepted the poor treatment because at least it was some sort of commitment? I had a relationship with a guy who put me on a pedestal and it was healing after an abusive relationship, but so claustrophobic that I had to end it. They would have cheated on me eventually of course, but while they lasted, those guys made me feel like the centre of their universe, respected and cherished.

Fed up. I hear you. This is why I wrote this post—to give women some insight into how men think so they can break this type of cycle. Men who are too intimidated by your beauty to approach you in person are more likely to engage with you online. Then, when you agree to meet, you will have established a solid foundation that will greatly reduce the intimidation factor. Your mindset is also vitally important. By the way, never ever ever put anyone on a pedestal, because if you put them up there, the only way they can look at you is by looking down on you.

This is not a character flaw in either party, this is a behavioral mistake. This is a great article and I identify with it completely.

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Best of luck to you. This is all good to hear. I am the same.


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  5. I used to model. I am in my 30s but look 25, very intelligent and accomplished. When the whole time, I figured they did not like me for one reason or another and I only got approached by sleeze-bags. Or they are way older than me, looking for arm-candy. I am of course looking for a man who has taken care of himself; however I am not looking for Mr. Most beautiful women are nice and just looking for someone who is nice and average-attractive and who will value her. Beautiful women learn early that attempting to date equally attractive men is not worth it, because they are making their way towards sleeping with every woman on the planet and tend to be ego-maniacs.

    Therefore, we only looking for average!!! And nice.

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    And balanced. Thank you for your comments, Julie.

    Your experience perfectly illustrates the dilemma faced by beautiful women. Perhaps you have given them hope by leaving this comment! Good luck, and I hope you find a man who appreciates you for who you are! As many of your respondents have said, being too attractive is not a subject you can discuss with most people, least of all family and girlfriends. I still find the very few men who have the nerve to ask me out are indeed the egomaniacs who just want the status of a beautiful woman with them. However, my request to you is a little different. I understand so much more and am genuinely happy to be myself.

    I do continue to want a man to share my life with as an equal, but now I only want someone who is pretty far down the spiritual path as well. Do you know of a group where like-minded spiritual people congregate? I did look into an online dating site that said they were spiritual, but it was filled with too many people who seem to have gone off the deep end, missing the simple essence of it all.

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